Knowing yourself
Students notice how their thoughts, feelings, and actions connect. They learn ways to handle strong emotions in the moment instead of letting a bad mood take over the rest of the day.
What does a student learn in
This is the stretch when students move from naming feelings to managing them under real pressure from friends, school, and social media. Students learn to spot how their thoughts drive their reactions, set a goal and adjust the plan when it stalls, and work through conflict instead of avoiding it. They also practice seeing situations from someone else's point of view, especially across differences. By spring, students can talk through a disagreement with a classmate, name what they want to change about it, and pick a next step that fits their values.
- Managing emotions
- Goal setting
- Perspective taking
- Handling conflict
- Decision making
- Community service
Year at a glance
How the year usually goes. Every school and district set their own curriculum, so treat this as a guide, not official pacing.
- 1
- 2
Strengths and goals
Students look at what they are good at, what is hard, and what shapes who they are. They set a goal, list the steps, and check their progress so they can adjust when something is not working.
- 3
Understanding other people
Students practice seeing a situation from someone else's side and asking questions to learn about lives different from their own. They talk through ideas with classmates without shutting the conversation down.
- 4
Friendships and conflict
Students work on the everyday skills that keep friendships and group projects going. They look at what causes arguments, how bullying and stereotypes hurt people, and what to do when a disagreement gets heated.
- 5
Making good choices
Students think through how a decision will affect themselves and the people around them. They learn when to ask an adult for help, especially if a friend's safety is at risk, and how their choices show up in schoolwork and friendships.
- 6
Helping the community
Students take what they have learned and put it to work in their school and neighborhood. They join a service project, look at a real problem like unfairness or exclusion, and reflect on what their effort actually changed.
Mastery Learning Standards
The required skills a student should display by the end of Grade 6.
Goal 1: Self-awareness
| Standard | Definition | Code |
|---|---|---|
| Thoughts, feelings, and what you do next Grades 6-8 | Students learn to notice how a thought or mood shapes what they do next, like how feeling nervous before a test can lead to avoiding studying or working twice as hard. | NY-SEL.1A.3a |
| Expressing strong emotions without losing control Grades 6-8 | Students practice pausing before reacting when a strong feeling hits, then choose how to express it in a way that fits the situation. | NY-SEL.1A.3b |
| How your strengths and challenges shape your choices Grades 6-8 | Students look at their own strengths and challenges and explain how those traits shape the decisions they make and what happens as a result. | NY-SEL.1B.3a |
| Finding resources that shape who you are Grades 6-8 | Students look around their school and neighborhood to find people, programs, or places that help them understand who they are and where they come from. | NY-SEL.1B.3b |
| Making a plan to reach a goal Grades 6-8 | Students break a goal into steps and decide which steps to tackle first. | NY-SEL.1C.3a |
| Adjusting plans when goals get off track Grades 6-8 | Students pick a short-term goal, track how it's going, and adjust their plan when something isn't working. | NY-SEL.1C.3b |
Goal 2: Social awareness and relationships
| Standard | Definition | Code |
|---|---|---|
| Seeing things from someone else's point of view Grades 6-8 | Students practice putting themselves in someone else's shoes to figure out what that person is thinking, feeling, or trying to do, even when it differs from their own experience. | NY-SEL.2A.3a |
| Asking respectful questions about others' lives Grades 6-8 | Students ask genuine questions and listen closely to understand what someone else's life is actually like, especially when that experience differs from their own. | NY-SEL.2A.3b |
| Talking across differences with an open mind Grades 6-8 | Students practice sharing their own views and listening to people whose backgrounds or beliefs differ from their own, staying open to perspectives they haven't heard before. | NY-SEL.2B.3a |
| How culture shapes the way we talk Grades 6-8 | Students notice how someone's background, culture, or life experiences shape the way they communicate. They practice recognizing those differences across groups rather than assuming everyone expresses themselves the same way. | NY-SEL.2B.3b |
| How bias fuels bullying and stereotypes Grades 6-8 | Students think about how bias, including assumptions based on race, religion, gender, or ability, can drive bullying and stereotyping. They consider how even small, offhand comments can reflect deeper prejudice. | NY-SEL.2B.3c |
| Showing empathy across differences Grades 6-8 | Students practice seeing a situation from someone else's point of view, especially someone whose background or experience differs from their own. That skill helps them build and keep real friendships and working relationships. | NY-SEL.2C.3a |
| Working together to help the group succeed Grades 6-8 | Students practice working with others toward a shared goal, listening to different ideas, and adjusting their own approach so the group can succeed together. | NY-SEL.2C.3b |
| Causes and consequences of conflict Grades 6-8 | Students explain what sparks a conflict and what happens after, including how differences in power or privilege can shape the way people treat each other. | NY-SEL.2D.3a |
| Handling conflict and mean behavior Grades 6-8 | Students practice specific ways to respond to conflict or social aggression without making things worse, such as staying calm, naming the problem, or choosing when to walk away. | NY-SEL.2D.3b |
Goal 3: Decision making
| Standard | Definition | Code |
|---|---|---|
| Weighing your needs and others' before deciding Grades 6-8 | Students think about how being curious, honest, and fair shapes the choices they make, including deciding when to get an adult involved if a friend might be in trouble. | NY-SEL.3A.3a |
| Why rules exist and who they hurt Grades 6-8 | Students look at why school and societal rules exist, who benefits from them, and who gets hurt by them. They practice spotting rules that are unfair and thinking through what those rules actually do to real people. | NY-SEL.3A.3b |
| How choices shape school and friendships Grades 6-8 | Students think back on choices they have made and notice how those choices affected their schoolwork, friendships, and group activities. The goal is to connect everyday decisions to real results. | NY-SEL.3B.3a |
| Choices that protect yourself and others Grades 6-8 | Students practice weighing personal values against real consequences when making a choice, asking how the decision affects not just themselves but the people around them. | NY-SEL.3B.3b |
| Community service and civic action Grades 6-8 | Students take part in community service or school projects that tackle real problems, including unfairness or bias, then think about what they did and whether it helped. | NY-SEL.3C.3a |
| Community service and civic reflection Grades 6-8 | Students take part in community service or local projects, then think back on what their work actually did. This includes speaking up when they see unfair treatment of people in their school or neighborhood. | NY-SEL.3C.3b |
Common Questions
What does social emotional learning look like in middle school?
Students work on naming their feelings, handling stress, and getting along with people who are different from them. They also practice setting goals, thinking through choices, and noticing how their actions affect others. The work is less about feelings charts and more about real situations with friends, family, and school.
How can a parent help a middle schooler manage big emotions at home?
When emotions run high, give space first and talk later. Once things are calm, ask what set it off, what the feeling was, and what might help next time. Naming the trigger and the feeling out loud is most of the work at this age.
What can a parent do when friendships get hard?
Listen without jumping in to fix it. Ask what the other person might have been thinking, and what a fair next step would be. Students this age need practice seeing a situation from more than one angle before they act.
How should goal-setting be handled at home?
Pick one small goal together, like finishing homework before screens or trying out for a team. Write down two or three steps and check in once a week. The point is to practice adjusting the plan when something is not working, not to hit the goal perfectly.
How should social emotional learning be sequenced across the year?
Start with self-awareness and self-regulation so students have shared language for emotions and stress. Move into perspective-taking and group work once the class feels safe. Save conflict, bias, and civic action for later in the year when trust is strong enough to hold harder conversations.
Which skills usually need the most reteaching?
Self-regulation in the moment and perspective-taking during conflict. Students can often explain both skills calmly in a lesson and then lose them the second a real disagreement starts. Plan to revisit these through short check-ins and restorative conversations all year, not just one unit.
How can conversations about bias and stereotypes be handled without things going sideways?
Set clear norms first and tie discussions to specific situations rather than labels about people. Use short readings or scenarios so students react to a case, not each other. Build in quiet reflection time before group talk so quieter students have something ready to say.
What does community service or civic action look like at this age?
Pick a real need students notice in the school or neighborhood, like food access, a cleanup, or a peer support effort. Have students plan the steps, do the work, and then reflect on what changed and what did not. The reflection is where most of the learning happens.
How can a parent tell if a student is ready for high school in this area?
Students should be able to calm down on their own most of the time, ask for help when something is too big, and consider how a choice affects other people. They should also be able to disagree with a friend without the friendship ending. Progress matters more than perfection here.