What does social emotional learning look like at this age?

Students learn to name what they are feeling, calm themselves down when upset, get along with classmates who are different from them, and think before they act. It is less about big lessons and more about how students handle the small moments of a school day.

How can I help my child handle big feelings at home?

When a meltdown hits, name the feeling out loud and give it a minute before solving anything. Later, when things are calm, talk about what helped and what did not. Hearing a parent say 'I felt frustrated too, so I took a walk' teaches more than a lecture.

My child says nobody likes them at school. What should I do?

Listen first and resist the urge to fix it right away. Ask what happened, who was there, and what they wish had gone differently. Most friendship trouble at this age passes within a week or two, but if the same name keeps coming up, tell the teacher.

How do I build SEL into a packed academic schedule?

Most of it happens in the cracks: morning check-ins, how group work gets set up, how conflicts at recess get unpacked. A short daily routine for naming feelings or setting a goal works better than a once-a-week lesson that gets cut when testing comes around.

What should students be able to do by the end of fifth grade?

Students should be able to name their feelings with more than just 'good' or 'mad,' calm themselves before reacting, see a situation from another person's side, and work through a disagreement without an adult stepping in every time.

Which SEL skills usually need the most reteaching?

Impulse control and perspective-taking. Students often know the right thing to do in a calm conversation but lose it in the moment. Plan to revisit the same skills in October, January, and April rather than teaching them once and moving on.

How do I know if my child is on track socially?

Look for small signs at home: can they wait a turn, recover from a 'no,' apologize without being forced, and notice when a sibling is upset. Progress is uneven at this age, so a rough week does not mean something is wrong.

How should conflicts between students be handled in class?

Slow it down and let both students talk before deciding anything. Ask each one what happened, how they felt, and what would make it better. The goal is for students to start running this process themselves by the end of the year, with less adult coaching each time.

What does a student learn in ?

This is the stretch when students move from naming feelings to managing them on their own. Students learn to notice what sets them off, calm down before reacting, and stick with a task even when it gets hard. They also start to see things from a classmate's point of view and work through small conflicts without an adult stepping in. By spring, students can name a strong feeling, choose a way to handle it, and explain why their choice was fair to others.

Managing emotions
Self-awareness
Empathy
Healthy friendships
Responsible choices
Conflict resolution

Source: Connecticut Connecticut Core Standards

Year at a glance

How the year usually goes. Every school and district set their own curriculum, so treat this as a guide, not official pacing.

1
Knowing yourself
Students start the year by naming what they feel and noticing what they are good at. They learn that a bad mood or a proud moment can change how they act at school and at home.
2
Managing big feelings
Students practice ways to calm down when they are frustrated, nervous, or excited. They learn to pause before reacting, stick with hard tasks, and keep their materials and time in order.
3
Seeing other points of view
Students work on understanding how a classmate or family member might feel in the same situation. They learn that people from different backgrounds see things differently, and they find out who at school can help when something is wrong.
4
Working well with others
Students practice listening, sharing ideas, and working on group projects without things falling apart. They learn how to ask for help, offer help, and work through a disagreement instead of shutting down or blowing up.
5
Making good choices
By the end of the year, students think through what might happen before they act. They weigh how a choice affects them and the people around them, at recess, online, and at home.

Mastery Learning Standards

The required skills a student should display by the end of Grade 5.

Social Emotional Learning

The abilities to understand one's own emotions, thoughts

CT-SEL.1.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students learn to name their own feelings and notice how those feelings shape what they do. They also start to see what they are good at and where they still have room to grow.
The abilities to manage emotions, thoughts

CT-SEL.2.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice staying calm under pressure, thinking before acting, and keeping track of their work and responsibilities. These skills help them handle hard moments and follow through on goals.
The abilities to understand the perspectives of and empathise with others…

CT-SEL.3.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice seeing situations from someone else's point of view, including people whose backgrounds differ from their own. They also learn to spot the adults and resources around them at school, at home, and in their community who can help.
The abilities to establish and maintain healthy and supportive relationships…

CT-SEL.4.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice getting along with different kinds of people by listening well, working through disagreements, and asking for help when they need it.
The abilities to make caring and constructive choices about personal behavior…

CT-SEL.5.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice thinking through choices before acting, weighing what might help or hurt themselves and the people around them. This applies to personal habits and how students treat others in different situations.

Standard	Definition	Code
The abilities to understand one's own emotions, thoughts Grades 3-5	Students learn to name their own feelings and notice how those feelings shape what they do. They also start to see what they are good at and where they still have room to grow.	CT-SEL.1.3-5
The abilities to manage emotions, thoughts Grades 3-5	Students practice staying calm under pressure, thinking before acting, and keeping track of their work and responsibilities. These skills help them handle hard moments and follow through on goals.	CT-SEL.2.3-5
The abilities to understand the perspectives of and empathise with others… Grades 3-5	Students practice seeing situations from someone else's point of view, including people whose backgrounds differ from their own. They also learn to spot the adults and resources around them at school, at home, and in their community who can help.	CT-SEL.3.3-5
The abilities to establish and maintain healthy and supportive relationships… Grades 3-5	Students practice getting along with different kinds of people by listening well, working through disagreements, and asking for help when they need it.	CT-SEL.4.3-5
The abilities to make caring and constructive choices about personal behavior… Grades 3-5	Students practice thinking through choices before acting, weighing what might help or hurt themselves and the people around them. This applies to personal habits and how students treat others in different situations.	CT-SEL.5.3-5

Social Emotional Learning

The abilities to understand one's own emotions, thoughts

CT-SEL.1.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students learn to name their own feelings and notice how those feelings shape what they do. They also start to see what they are good at and where they still have room to grow.
The abilities to manage emotions, thoughts

CT-SEL.2.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice staying calm under pressure, thinking before acting, and keeping track of their work and responsibilities. These skills help them handle hard moments and follow through on goals.
The abilities to understand the perspectives of and empathise with others…

CT-SEL.3.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice seeing situations from someone else's point of view, including people whose backgrounds differ from their own. They also learn to spot the adults and resources around them at school, at home, and in their community who can help.
The abilities to establish and maintain healthy and supportive relationships…

CT-SEL.4.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice getting along with different kinds of people by listening well, working through disagreements, and asking for help when they need it.
The abilities to make caring and constructive choices about personal behavior…

CT-SEL.5.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice thinking through choices before acting, weighing what might help or hurt themselves and the people around them. This applies to personal habits and how students treat others in different situations.

Standard	Definition	Code
The abilities to understand one's own emotions, thoughts Grades 3-5	Students learn to name their own feelings and notice how those feelings shape what they do. They also start to see what they are good at and where they still have room to grow.	CT-SEL.1.3-5
The abilities to manage emotions, thoughts Grades 3-5	Students practice staying calm under pressure, thinking before acting, and keeping track of their work and responsibilities. These skills help them handle hard moments and follow through on goals.	CT-SEL.2.3-5
The abilities to understand the perspectives of and empathise with others… Grades 3-5	Students practice seeing situations from someone else's point of view, including people whose backgrounds differ from their own. They also learn to spot the adults and resources around them at school, at home, and in their community who can help.	CT-SEL.3.3-5
The abilities to establish and maintain healthy and supportive relationships… Grades 3-5	Students practice getting along with different kinds of people by listening well, working through disagreements, and asking for help when they need it.	CT-SEL.4.3-5
The abilities to make caring and constructive choices about personal behavior… Grades 3-5	Students practice thinking through choices before acting, weighing what might help or hurt themselves and the people around them. This applies to personal habits and how students treat others in different situations.	CT-SEL.5.3-5

Common Questions

What does social emotional learning look like at this age?
Students learn to name what they are feeling, calm themselves down when upset, get along with classmates who are different from them, and think before they act. It is less about big lessons and more about how students handle the small moments of a school day.
How can I help my child handle big feelings at home?
When a meltdown hits, name the feeling out loud and give it a minute before solving anything. Later, when things are calm, talk about what helped and what did not. Hearing a parent say 'I felt frustrated too, so I took a walk' teaches more than a lecture.
My child says nobody likes them at school. What should I do?
Listen first and resist the urge to fix it right away. Ask what happened, who was there, and what they wish had gone differently. Most friendship trouble at this age passes within a week or two, but if the same name keeps coming up, tell the teacher.
How do I build SEL into a packed academic schedule?
Most of it happens in the cracks: morning check-ins, how group work gets set up, how conflicts at recess get unpacked. A short daily routine for naming feelings or setting a goal works better than a once-a-week lesson that gets cut when testing comes around.
What should students be able to do by the end of fifth grade?
Students should be able to name their feelings with more than just 'good' or 'mad,' calm themselves before reacting, see a situation from another person's side, and work through a disagreement without an adult stepping in every time.
Which SEL skills usually need the most reteaching?
Impulse control and perspective-taking. Students often know the right thing to do in a calm conversation but lose it in the moment. Plan to revisit the same skills in October, January, and April rather than teaching them once and moving on.
How do I know if my child is on track socially?
Look for small signs at home: can they wait a turn, recover from a 'no,' apologize without being forced, and notice when a sibling is upset. Progress is uneven at this age, so a rough week does not mean something is wrong.
How should conflicts between students be handled in class?
Slow it down and let both students talk before deciding anything. Ask each one what happened, how they felt, and what would make it better. The goal is for students to start running this process themselves by the end of the year, with less adult coaching each time.