Knowing yourself
Students start the year looking at their own feelings, values, and habits. They name what they are good at, where they struggle, and how their mood shapes the choices they make at school and home.
This is the year social and emotional skills start preparing students for life after high school. Students get clearer about who they are, what they value, and how their choices affect their future. They learn to handle stress, set real goals, and work through conflict with people who see things differently. By spring, students can talk through a hard decision by weighing the tradeoffs for themselves and the people around them.
Students start the year looking at their own feelings, values, and habits. They name what they are good at, where they struggle, and how their mood shapes the choices they make at school and home.
Students work on handling pressure from classes, jobs, and life outside school. They practice calming down before reacting, staying organized, and setting goals they can actually follow through on.
Students look outside themselves and try to see situations from someone else's view. They think about classmates with different backgrounds and learn where to turn at school, at home, or in town when someone needs help.
Students focus on the give and take of healthy relationships. They practice speaking up clearly, working with people they disagree with, settling conflicts without blowing up, and asking for help when they need it.
Students close the year by weighing real decisions. They think through consequences before acting, consider how a choice affects friends and family, and take responsibility for what they do.
Students identify their own emotions and values, then notice how those feelings shape their choices in different situations. They also take stock of where they are strong and where they need to grow.
Students practice noticing what they feel, slowing down before reacting, and staying organized enough to follow through on what matters to them.
Students practice seeing situations from someone else's point of view, including people whose backgrounds differ from their own. They also learn to spot the people and resources around them, at school and at home, who can offer real support.
Students practice building and keeping healthy relationships: listening well, working through disagreements, and asking for or offering help when it counts. These skills apply across friendships, group projects, and any setting where people with different backgrounds work together.
Students practice weighing the real costs and benefits of a choice before acting, factoring in how that choice affects other people. This applies to everyday decisions, from personal habits to how students handle conflict or disagreement.
| Standard | Definition | Code |
|---|---|---|
| The abilities to understand one's own emotions, thoughts High School | Students identify their own emotions and values, then notice how those feelings shape their choices in different situations. They also take stock of where they are strong and where they need to grow. | NJ-SEL.1.9-12 |
| The abilities to manage emotions, thoughts High School | Students practice noticing what they feel, slowing down before reacting, and staying organized enough to follow through on what matters to them. | NJ-SEL.2.9-12 |
| The abilities to understand the perspectives of and empathise with others… High School | Students practice seeing situations from someone else's point of view, including people whose backgrounds differ from their own. They also learn to spot the people and resources around them, at school and at home, who can offer real support. | NJ-SEL.3.9-12 |
| The abilities to establish and maintain healthy and supportive relationships… High School | Students practice building and keeping healthy relationships: listening well, working through disagreements, and asking for or offering help when it counts. These skills apply across friendships, group projects, and any setting where people with different backgrounds work together. | NJ-SEL.4.9-12 |
| The abilities to make caring and constructive choices about personal behavior… High School | Students practice weighing the real costs and benefits of a choice before acting, factoring in how that choice affects other people. This applies to everyday decisions, from personal habits to how students handle conflict or disagreement. | NJ-SEL.5.9-12 |
Students learn to notice what they're feeling, manage stress, work with people who are different from them, and think through their choices before acting. It shows up in how students handle a hard test, a group project, or a disagreement with a friend.
Ask what's on their plate this week and help them pick one thing to start. Short routines help: a set time to do homework, a break before dinner, and a regular bedtime. Talking about your own stress and how you handle it teaches more than a lecture.
Try a side-by-side moment instead of a sit-down talk, like a car ride or making dinner. Ask one specific question, such as what was the hardest part of today, then listen without fixing. Silence is fine. Most teens circle back when they feel less cornered.
Start the year on self-awareness and goal-setting, move into stress and self-management before midterms, and build relationship and conflict skills once students know each other. Save decision-making and community connections for spring, when students are thinking about next steps after high school.
Stress management and conflict resolution come up again and again. Most students can name an emotion but struggle to act on it in the moment. Plan to revisit these skills after big stress points like exams, breakups, and college decisions, not just at the start of the year.
Resist the urge to solve it. Ask what they want to happen and what they've already tried. Help them rehearse a short conversation out loud before they have it. Teens often know what to do; they just need a safe place to practice the words.
Tie it to what students are already doing. A group project is a chance to practice collaboration and conflict resolution. A tough reading is a chance to talk about empathy and perspective. Five minutes of reflection at the end of class often does more than a separate lesson.
Watch for small signs of independence: setting an alarm, asking for help when stuck, handling a setback without falling apart, and following through on something hard. Academic readiness matters, but these habits are what carry students through a first job or first year away.